Weight of The World
by Brennanite47
Summary: Olivia's struggling with the burden of being the savior of universes while Peter simply tries to win back her affection. My take on what should've happened post "Concentrate and Ask Again" and pre-"6B". First part is really T rated, M chapters to come.
1. Denial

**_Okay, so I've kinda depressed and bored lately between school, work, artwork, extracurricular stuff, et cetera that this started to bubble up in my mind. Basically this is my alternative to what happened post "Concentrate and Ask Again" and pre-"6B". I wanted to do my own little version of Peter and Olivia drifting apart and coming back together. This is just the first part in which will probably be a three-part fanfic. This first chapter is really a strong T rating, but there is a curse word and it will be rated M for the next chapter so I'm just gonna put it in the M category now and save trouble. Do not worry, guys, smut is to come._**

**_This is my first Fringe fanfic so please be gentle. Title comes from the Evanescence song, I own nothing but my own scenario sadly._**

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><p><strong><em><em>**_Part I:_

Olivia looked up from yet another file that sought completion from the stack that was on her desk. The whole lab was eerily silent as she was the only one there. Whereas any other day she would've preferred staying at the bureau when all she had to entertain herself with was the mindless drone work she was doing today, she had such a migraine that she probably would've taken out her gun and shot herself if she merely heard one more phone ring.

Astrid had phoned her and told her that she was going to be taking Walter out to a new modern science exhibit and that Peter had gone out to do whatever it was that he did with his spare time. Olivia was grateful that there was at least one other woman that at least partially understood the kind of strain she was under. With the universes falling apart at the seams and the threat of utter annihilation looming overhead, she couldn't stop, sleep, or eat until everything was right with the world again.

This was probably the cause for her migraine as well. Olivia had always known she never ate right, slept well, or even took a day to herself to just do whatever she wanted to. She felt a familiar tingling in her belly that told her something else was far overdue as well.

She groaned in frustration and rubbed her eyes, for the moment giving up on the file. It had been almost two and a half years since John had passed away and the craving to let go of herself to a man had never been so strong in her life. Olivia pounded her fist into the desk when she thought of the person who took away her chance to have somebody.

She tried to steel herself against the thoughts that flooded her head. He'd betrayed her, he'd lied to her, he'd made love to _her._ That last one was the major one Olivia couldn't get over. The sheer mental image made her want to retch. What was even worse was that Peter said he was sorry every single day in some shape, way, or form. Even with quick flash of his eyes, he was trying to communicate that he loved her. She simultaneously felt terrible for not forgiving him and jump into his waiting arms and needing to keep herself distanced from him at all costs. The connection between the two of them now was awkward and strange and she wasn't going to be the substitute for anyone else's feelings.

The opening of a door and the shuffle of feet aroused Olivia's eardrums as she associated the deep, purposeful footsteps as none other than the man she really didn't want to see right now. She started packing up her files, thinking she could finish the rest of it up at home when she saw him come in to linger in the doorway.

"Hey," he started with a small, hopeful smile. "I was hoping you'd be here."

"Astrid and Walter went to the museum." she said in an all-business tone. Olivia didn't even look up at him as she continued to pack her bag. "I'm just wrapping up for the day."

"I brought you something." he placed the disposable Starbucks cup right in her narrow line of vision.

She looked up just a little, and she was angry that he had to look so goddamned beautiful. The worn leather jacket and the harsh stubble of his face a sharp contrast to the softness of his eyes and the peaceful air he was generating on purpose. Olivia chastised herself before she answered, "What is it?"

"Hot chocolate." When she gave him an 'are you serious' look, he defended his reasoning. "It's freezing out there."

"Whole milk with-"

"Extra whipped cream and an extra shot of chocolate?" he finished her question for her. "Yeah, I remember. That time we were trapped in your apartment building last year when the blizzard hit with four feet of snow and the only edible things you had were hot chocolate mix and microwave popcorn." he smiled at the memory.

God, why couldn't he just be an asshole and she could hate him? Or at least ordered her non-fat milk like every other man in the world would for his girl because he didn't wants her to blow up physically on him. That way she could've thrown in his face that that was probably the other Olivia's preference. Now she could only give him a wimpy, "It was a long time ago." before she tried to step around him with her bag and her cup in hand.

"'Livia, we need to talk." he cut her off and shut the office door.

"There's nothing to talk about." her response was nowhere near as forceful as she wanted it to be, but she was tired of trying to talk with Peter.

Peter was getting frustrated. His sole reason for living at present was to get her to listen to what he needed to tell her, but she kept fighting him back. Right now, in their claustrophobic office, she had nowhere to hide from him. "There might not be anything for you to talk about, but there are things I need to say to you."

Any other time, Olivia would've socked him one in the face and kept walking, but she didn't have the energy. "Then say them, please."

He could tell she didn't feel well, both physically and emotionally, but he didn't either, and he felt he never would feel the same again unless he could get her see the light. "How about you look me in the eyes?"

"Why?" she practically seethed the word.

"So I know I'm not talking to a brick wall. So I feel like you're listening. So you know I'm not lying to you." he read off the list.

"You haven't had a problem with that before." she met his eyes that time.

"And you didn't have a problem keeping my past secret from me, either. We're all human. We all make mistakes. A mistake, I might add, I've only apologized for nearly a hundred times in the last six weeks." Peter's voice was a strange kind of controlled agitation.

"I know you still think about her, Peter. I know you still have feelings for her." she said sadly even though she wanted to scream it at him.

"Yeah, feelings of anger and disgust. Anger and disgust at the fact that she used the love I have for you to meet her own fucking ends!" Peter shouted.

The word 'love' twisted in her gut like a knife. The last time she'd heard that word directed at her was when she was getting dressed in a cheap motel room to face the horror she would later consider the last day of her semi-normal life.

Peter could tell he'd finally gotten through the wall and down to her. Now he needed to keep the wall down long enough to really reconnect with her. "'Livia, I loved you even before any of this happened. I loved you when I was standing over your comatose body as everybody else was getting ready to pull the plug. I hoped against all hope that I would get to tell you one day and I'd get to see your beautiful smile again." He reached out to touch her face, but she backed away.

Olivia's bag dropped from her limp hand as she turned away from Peter's heavy gaze. She raked a hand over her hair absently before she turned back to say, "why didn't you tell me then?"

He sighed, "You were scared and broken and you didn't needed your world turned on it's head. Plus, what was I supposed to do if you didn't feel the same way? I would have to stick around for Walter, who you need in your line of work. I could live with the not-knowing, but I couldn't live with the rejection."

"Who said I would've rejected you?" she was breathing heavily now. The room's temperature was increasing dramatically and there wasn't enough oxygen in the room to fill her lungs.

He wanted to take this as an invitation to come closer though he knew it wasn't. Even so, he took a couple of steps forward before she held a hand out to stop his approach. "Everything's changed now." she whispered.

"What exactly has changed?" he asked. "Despite the fact there's a bump in the road, I still love you and I know you still care about me. The only thing that's really changed is your ability to trust me."

"You're damn right." she said with surprising clarity. "What's going to happen one day when I don't smile enough, or I'm not happy enough. She's the same person as me only she's better. She wasn't abused as a child and she wasn't the test subject of two old men in a military-funded research project to give children nightmares and fuck our minds for the rest of our lives." Olivia's voice was cold and calm as she spoke.

"But that's the woman I fell in love with, and I fell in love with her whole fucked-up mind, body, and soul." he was directly in front of her now, looking down into her olive eyes with a near violent intensity to make sure that she knew every last word that left his lips was the God's honest truth.

Reaching out, he brushed her cheek with his fingertips. Her instincts were telling her to pull away, but her heart…her heart. "Peter, I…I'm sorry, I-"He silenced her with a finger against her lips.

"I've been fantasizing about this moment for so long and I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you ruin it with your rambling the faults." He leaned in to silence her more pleasurably, and to his surprise, she didn't retreat. She stiffened slightly as their lips touched the first time, but the second he met her full force she sagged against him, letting her true feelings wash over her.

Her eyes fell closed, she responded, and he went mad. His arm snaked around her middle while his hand wove itself into her long blonde hair. Peter walked her backwards until her back was against the door, never breaking the seal he had on her lips. His hands raced up and down her back while she merely kept her fingers laced together behind his neck. It wasn't until felt the moisture brush his nose that he snapped back to reality.

He pulled back just far enough to see the tracks of her tears on her face. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Olivia shook her head as she leaned into his shoulder and sobbed quietly.

Peter wrapped his arms around her to support her. "It's the job, isn't it?" he spoke into her hair. When she nodded, he brought her in tighter. "You wanna go home?"

"Only if you'll come with me. I…I don't think I can be alone tonight." She mumbled.

"I'll do you one better than that. I'll get you whatever kind of alcohol you want.

"That might be a lot at this point." She warned.

"Then we'll be drunk together." He reasoned as he reached for her briefcase and her hot chocolate, the whipped cream definitely melted by now. "You still want this?"

She took it appreciatively and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you, Peter."

He folded his arm around her shoulders and started to walk out with her when Astrid and Walter came in, returning from their afternoon outing.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

Peter answered for her. "We're clocking out for the day a little early. It's been a long week."

Astrid noticed the red tint to Olivia's eyes. "Are you okay, Olivia?"

"Yeah," she replied gruffly, clearing her throat before she continued. "I just need some time to recharge my battery." Olivia reassured Astrid, who wasn't buying it for a second. "I'm fine."

Walter decided it was time to pay attention. "You know, Agent Dunham, I've discovered the perfect cure for fatigue over this past week. It involves enhancing the caffeine content in a certain energy drink. I believe it's called 'Monster.'" he smiled his absent-minded smile.

Peter paid little attention to his father. "Why don't you head out to the car and I'll be right behind you. I just gotta grab something real quick." He mumbled to her. She nodded quietly and walked out of the lab with her head down. Olivia knew he was allowing her as graceful an exit as he could give her under the circumstances, and for that she was grateful.

Peter went to his desk with Astrid following close behind. "Peter, what's going on?" she asked.

"She's feeling a little stressed out right now. I'm gonna stay with her tonight and make sure she doesn't end up hung over for work tomorrow." Peter grabbed his keys and handed them to her. "Would you mind keeping an eye on Walter tonight."

"Of course not, Peter, but isn't Olivia still mad at you?"

"We're trying to work things out." Peter said as he started to leave. "Walter, Astrid's going to stay with you tonight. I'll be home in the morning, don't wait up."

"Have a good night son." Walter smiled as his son left, his mind immediately gone into the gutter.

Peter got out to Olivia's SUV to find her in the passenger seat with engine already running to warm it up against the bitter cold. Apparently he was driving tonight. He got in and shook off the few snowflakes that had fallen into his hair.

"Now what?" Olivia asked, wondering where they were going from there.

He smiled a quick, sly smile. "You hungry?"

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><p><strong><em>Please read and review. Feedback is always helpful.<em>**


	2. Acceptance

**_So I've never been good at writing smut, that will probably become apparent here, but I hope it's worth something. One more part to go after this. I own nothing but ideas._  
><strong>

**Part II:**

Olivia carried the pizza while Peter carried the alcohol in a brown paper bag. She hadn't perked up much since the lab, still lost in her thoughts of work and the deteriorating world. As they walked up the stairs, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, to which she gave an appreciative smile, but it was forced and Peter could tell. He didn't make a fuss about it. He'd make her relax one way or another.

As they entered her apartment, he noticed it was much different since the last time he'd been there. There were quite a few new pieces of furniture that had replaced the ones he remembered. He wasn't sure when she had the time to go shopping for such things, but knowing her, she'd probably made special time to obliterate the presence of her alternate from her apartment.

Olivia shucked her boots and kicked them towards the door. "Make yourself comfortable." she put the pizza down on the coffee table and shrugged out of her coat and scarf. "I'll get us some plates and glasses."

He shrugged out of his own leather jacket and draped it on the pole used for a coat rack. Peter maneuvered the stacks of files, highlighters and pens that adorned her coffee table. He looked over into the kitchen while she was gathering silverware and couldn't help but think how heavy her mind must be.

They ate dinner in a relative silence. Olivia had felt comfortable enough to curl up into Peter's side and rest her head against his shoulder as she ate. He was quietly overjoyed at the position they were in. Feeling bold, he draped his arm around her waist in her half-lying position. She picked a piece of pepperoni off of her slice and held it out to him. Peter smiled and nipped at it, taking in a bit of fingers with it.

He nuzzled her hair with his nose. "This feels so good."

She chomped her last bit of crust and went to lick her fingers clean, but her hand was snatched away from her. Olivia met his eyes for the first time since the lab and watched him as he kissed and licked away the last bits of sauce off the digits. His eyes never left hers as he cleansed her.

"You know there are things we need to talk about." she fought to control the tremble he was causing in her voice. Olivia was fascinated that such a small touch from him could practically leave her quivering.

"We'll have all the time in the world to talk. Right now, my mind's wandering elsewhere." he stated as he moved down to her palm, then to her wrist, kissing and nipping the sensitive flesh. Olivia sighed as a rush of heat surge through her arm, down to her stomach, and spread throughout her system from there.

Taking her response into consideration, Peter continued the path up her arm, kissing her through the fabric of her shirt until he reached her neck. He was immediately overwhelmed by her scent. The light flowery scent of the perfume she'd dabbed on that morning overcame his senses and he couldn't help the rush of excitement that washed over him. Peter found her pulse point quickly and drew it between his lips.

"Peter, stop." Olivia breathed headily. He was reluctant, but he did stop.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Peter rested his hand against her cheek.

She closed her eyes for a second as she drank in that sentence. Two years ago when he would call her that she would write him off as an arrogant asshole. Now that the term had a whole different context, she could hear him call her that all day long for the rest of her life.

"Not here. Not on the couch." she rose and held her hand out to him. "Not like a couple of impatient teenagers."

"Does it make a difference if that's how I feel right now?" he gave her a cocky smile and took his hand in hers. She gave him a tight lipped smile, but Peter knew it was a genuine one. The light reached her eyes that time.

"Didn't you ever hear that cliché 'good things come to those who wait'?" she asked as she led him to the bedroom.

"Yeah, but I've learned through life that better things come to those who take." he whispered as he backed her into the wall just outside her bedroom. He laced their fingers together and raised them above her head. Her face flushed a bright pink as her eyes lit up with pure desire. Pulling his body flush with hers, he crushed her lips with his, his tongue patiently awaiting entrance to her mouth. She wasn't granting his request very promptly.

He pulled back just a little. "Baby, please let me in…please." Olivia whimpered just a little before she relented, letting him sweep his tongue through her mouth before she joined the game. Peter felt her whole body soften slightly and used her lack of awareness to his advantage. He kept her wrists pinned above her head with one hand while the other came down to the front of her blouse, popping buttons free rather skillfully as he did so.

"Not your first time around the block, is it Bishop?" she asked playfully when he let her come up for air. The front of her shirt was wide open, revealing to a sad Peter that she was wearing a camisole underneath. He pulled her to him and backed her towards her bed, which he also noticed was completely refurbished with sheets and comforter.

He felt guilty for already being invited to this room previously without her permission. If he could only turn back the clock and everything had been the way it was supposed to be. He might be in the same situation if things had happened differently, but he doubted he would feel like a nervous teenager. Peter pulled her shirt off of her before he scooped her up and placed her gently in the middle of the bed when he noticed something. "No bra?"

"Built-in the tank top. Paper-pushing day and who says I couldn't make it a little more comfortable?" She smiled coyly, which went straight to his head. He pulled off his own sweater, leaving him only in his jeans, and crawled in after her. Watching her with warm eyes, he let his gaze drift over every perfect contour of her face. When he noticed a short lock of hair had escaped her rigid ponytail and covered one olive green eye, he pushed it back behind her ear, gently tucking it in securely.

"I had no idea you were such a romantic." she giggled. She was nervous, as well. After all they'd been through together, there was no doubt in either's minds that what was going to happen tonight would be nothing short of incredible, but both were thinking in the back of their minds about the repercussions. Where would this go? How would it change their working relationship? Would the FBI ultimately interfere because they were in an intimate relationship while working together? Questions all that would have to be answered later, as Peter was working on leaving a love bite on her neck.

He smiled against her skin, tickling her with the stubble on his chin. "Only with you, sweetheart."

Olivia grinned, "So cheesy."

"So true." Peter replied. He reached up to find the elastic at the back of her head, pulling it out and letting the golden waterfall of her hair spill out. He ran a hand through it twice before he spoke again. "So beautiful."

She pulled him down to her for another searing kiss. Their mouths battled passionately while his hands roamed her still cloth-covered body. One hand found her breast which made a perfect fit, like one piece of a puzzle interlocking with another. Olivia moaned at the connection, the deprivation of her body becoming very apparent. Her heart was pounding in her chest so loudly she could hardly hear her heavy breathing.

Peter gave her a chance to breathe. He was reasonably excited and had to take a moment himself to gain some sense of control. In his mind, he felt he needed to make this as good for her as it could be, to prove to her that it was her he loved with every fiber of his being. Hands trailing over her, he skillfully removed the rest of her clothes, leaving her completely vulnerable to him. Her eyes were glued to his face as he came up to meet them. Realization struck him, "Am I glowing?"

Her features saddened visibly as she gave the slightest of nods.

He leaned down, his nose brushing hers. "I promise you, I'm not going to let anything hurt you right now. If I in any way hurt you tonight, I want you to tell me to stop. I know it's been a long time…"

"Peter, just…" Olivia silenced him with her voice, her nails scratching the back of his shirt lightly. "Just make me forget everything for a little while."

He nodded as he let her undress him, let her set the pace at which he would gladly fall into rhythm with. They fell into a languid melody of learning each other's body's in a slow, torturous rollercoaster. Olivia's nails produced welts on his back and Peter's mouth covered her in love bites, the irritated flesh purpling to his touch. They went on for a long time just manipulating each other, one the puppeteer of the other. When Peter finally did silently ask for her permission, all she could do was kiss him in reply. He pushed forward slowly, being careful when he encountered resistance, which he did. She squinted a little as he pushed through. Moaning when he could go no further, he gave her some time to adjust to him before he asked. "You okay, sweetheart?"

Olivia nodded into his shoulder, her breath heavy. She wanted to speak, to whisper into his ear, but when she tried no sound came out. He began to pull out ever so slowly so that when he was almost completely unsheathed, he rammed right back in with considerable force. Olivia whimpered loudly in surprise.

To Peter, it was as if he'd just heard a siren calling out to him. "Oh, baby, do that again." He reached down between them and massaged her as he started to pull back again.

"Peter-" Olivia was cut off by another thrust, this one even more powerful than the last, drawing another whimper from her lips. She clutched him tighter and wrapped her legs around his waist, needing to be as close to him as she could be. "Don't hold back. I won't break." she breathed into his ear.

He increased his speed just a little. Peter relished every little sound that came from her. Even the smallest of moans sent him into her a little faster. She even asked him to go faster, a request he complied with immediately. Her walls began to flutter around him and he knew she was close. He kissed her as he brought her over the edge, swallowing her cries as he followed her into the abyss.

Moving to her side as not to crush her, Peter didn't let go of her for a second. Olivia's grip on him tightened on him as he moved, her breath coming in shallow pants against his shoulder. He rolled onto his back and brought her to lie on top of him. Her head rested just underneath his chin and he combed through her disheveled hair with one hand while he let the other drift over her back.

Peter couldn't stop the smile that overtook his face as he stared at the ceiling. His heart was doing backflips in his chest as she laid fairly limp against him, like a rag doll that someone had just thrown at him.

Olivia began to tremble against him, gooseflesh breaking out in earnest across her arms and legs. "Cold sweetheart?" She simply nodded and nuzzled in closer to him. He pulled the blankets up around them and wrapped his arms around her.

"Please stay here tonight. I don't want to wake up and think this was all a dream."

"You won't. I promise." And with that, she drifted off to sleep.

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><p><em><strong>Please R&amp;R<strong>_


	3. Healing

_**So kinda a quick ending. Hope you like despite it's shortness. **_

Part III:

Peter held onto the woman nestled into his side as tightly as he could without crushing her. Olivia was asleep. It was a light sleep, but it seemed it was better than she was getting as of late. He put his nose to her hair and breathed in deeply, wishing he could take away her pain. Knowing what a burden it could be to carry the fate of two universes on your shoulders, Peter trailed his fingers up and down her spine without thinking.

"That tickles." she spoke softly to his chest.

He smiled a little. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"I won't complain so long as it's you waking me up." Olivia replied.

"I'll give that about a week before you start singing a different tune." Peter stated.

He could feel Olivia's smile grow against his chest before she turned to look at him. Peter was amazed at the transformation. Her eyes were brighter, her smile easier, the dim light around her even said that she was relaxed. It made him happy that he was the one that made her look like that. "You wanna talk about what happened today?"

She folded her arms under her head, creating a pillow for herself. "I don't know, what happened today?"

"I don't see you break down like that very often." They spoke quietly, there was no reason to raise their voices very high. Olivia blushed a little. "I can't say that it didn't unnerve me a little."

"I'm sorry you had to see that. It's just…" she wasn't sure how to put her feelings to words. It was always something she'd had issues with. "I try to hold it in, but sometimes it just sneaks out like that."

"Is it the stress of the job or getting used to this side again?" he asked.

"Both…" she ran a hand over her hair, suddenly becoming nervous under his intense gaze. "I still don't feel completely comfortable in my own house…hell, my own skin…but every day gets a little easier."

Peter immediately felt nauseous. The one thing he never wanted to be to her was a source of her pain. He ran his hands up her arms to cup her bare shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Olivia."

"Please stop apologizing, it's getting irritating." she said lightly enough to warrant a laugh from him. "I used to blame you for what happened with her, but I know how to read you and I believe what you told me was the truth. The whole situation is just..." she trailed off.

"Shit?" he supplied.

She laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess that's accurate."

"It was. I love you, 'Liv. Only you." He sat up with her in his lap burying his face in her hair.

"I love you, too." she whispered.


End file.
